Have no fear - this is exclusive to the mistakes I’ve made on my health and fitness journey, not an entire list of my life mistakes (We haven’t got all day have we!).
I’ll make it clear, I’m one of those ‘you can learn from mistakes’ type of people. Therefore this isn’t a ‘feel for me’ list. It’s just some facts. It might help one of you, you never know.
I’ve learned all the usual lessons and then some. I’m going to dive straight in here. I thought about doing it chronologically but that’s boring so I’m starting with one that springs to mind immediately. MISTAKE 1)
Trying too hard.
Far too hard. As in - tried to do everything humanely possible straight away.
Tried to be too restrictive with food. Went straight into hitting the gym 5-6 times a week. Which, when you have all the enthusiasm in the world - can be great for a short period of time. However for me, it wasn’t sustainable - and as I’ve learned first-hand since, is not sustainable for most of the population.
Why did I feel compelled to try and train so hard so fast?
I thought that’s what it took to achieve my goals.
I’d seen others seemingly doing it, I’d seen the people on social media. The ones prepping every meal, training all the time, I got so lost in the ‘go hard or go home’ #nodaysoff mentality. I wore it like a badge of honour - it felt good at the time because I was becoming a ‘gym girl’. It was an identity I clung to.
It didn’t last long. I started hitting plateaus, I didn’t listen to my body and rest enough.
I did too much too soon I had to accept it and dial it back.
Physically that wasn’t hard - I reduced my training sessions , took the pressure off myself. The biggest challenge was changing my mindset. I had to let go of the identity I’d given myself. That was hard. (I might write a whole other post on this).
MISTAKE 2)
Buying the leggings without doing the squat test.
This is VERY important. You know the one. You're lunging and squatting about in a changing room, checking to see if said leggings are see-through or not. It’s very important. I bought a pair of leggings that were patterned and thought they were squat proof. They weren’t. I found this out during a class I was teaching. Good job I don’t embarrass isn’t it? MISTAKE 3)
Eating too much.
Picture the scene. I was training a lot, pushing myself. Then I fell down various rabbit holes of wait for it….. misinformation. I did my ‘research’ and vastly over estimated how much I could eat.
I was exercising a lot so surely I could eat what I wanted right? RIGHT?
I was burning LOADS of calories working out right? RIGHT?
(News flash - that’s not how it works)
I got to a point where I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t making progress.
I didn’t know any better.
I looked to the wrong places for information, it was confusing and vast - one site tells you one thing, one site tells you another. It’s exhausting.
This is one of the reasons I am so passionate about working with all my clients so that they have all the correct information they need. No BS. They can feel confident about what they are doing with diet and exercise. That’s what I wanted for me.
MISTAKE 4)
Eating too little.
This is a big one. It’s also a bit emotive so bear with me.
At the time I was working a job that was physically demanding. I was on a UK theatre tour, in an immersive piece about a house party. It was incredible.
The days were long, there was a lot of travel, we were actors and crew - meaning a lot of van loading, set packing and everything in between. Plus the shows themselves - we did 2-3 a day sometimes, and it was a high energy show.
(Ironically I didn’t have time for the gym so I wasn’t even training)
I loved every second of tour. (So much so I did it multiple times over 4 years).
However, the saddest thing is, I took it as an opportunity to lose weight. It was always in the back of my mind. I was constantly trying to outdo myself, maintain a momentum of physical activity that wasn’t healthy.
All the while, eating with very little concern for my energy needs.
I look back and think - if I had only paid attention to my body, and fuelled myself properly. I’d have felt less tired, fuller, happier, less hangry. Importantly I’d have been honoring my body's needs. Which is so important. I can’t tell you how much so.
(Hindsight is a wonderful thing eh)
Then about half way through the tour - someone said those all important words to me
‘You’ve lost weight Mel, you look great’
It made my day. I was so happy. I was making progress.
To be honest, that ‘complement high’ lasted about an hour. All I could think afterwards was ‘ I need to keep this up’.
THEN. I realized there might be a problem.
Thankfully, I had one of my best friends with me. Incidentally, the tour was one of the foundations of our beautiful friendship.
When you read this Casey - please know that you were such an important part of keeping me stable during tour. Who made sure I was looking after myself in small ways. Like making us both cups of teas and pot noodles when we finally got back to hotels at 1:00am. Making the most of hotel snacks and long journeys on every motorway in the UK. I’m not sure if she realised how much, but Casey kept me in check and for that I will always be grateful.
Really - the biggest thing I learned from this was that I had to address the idea that I needed to keep going. That I was chasing after this goal and I didn’t see an end point. I wouldn’t know when to stop.
I also learned that I had placed so much value in my weight.
There is so much more to me than that.
I gave too much head space to being ‘thinner’.
There is so much more to me than that.
MISTAKE 5)
Training too much. When I mean too much - I mean excessive and silly.
I was teaching up to 8 classes each week (participating in them, that’s how I like to teach.) Then training myself 3-4 x a week and working with as many clients- I got as humanely possible.
While I could maintain a momentum was ‘fine’, but again it wasn’t sustainable and my body was telling me this. Constantly tired, worn out, burning out.
I wasn’t just burning the candle at both ends, I had set the entire thing alight. I became a weird lump of wax that wasn’t good to anybody. (There’s a metaphor for you).
I ended up with a bad cold that put me out of action for a week or so and then I realized It was all too much. Something had to give. It did - slowly, I adjusted how many classes I was teaching. I looked at my priorities, and made changes. It took time, but I had time. I just wasn’t using it wisely.
If you’re getting to a point where you know you’re doing too much, please, stop. There’s that quote: ‘You cannot pour from an empty cup’. (It's true - fill your cup first)
I promise you, you're important enough.
MISTAKE 6)
Training too little.
I wasn’t training to a decent intensity, I wasn’t training frequently enough and still I wanted results. By this point I knew better as well.
I knew what I needed to do to achieve my goal, but I was making excuses, I wasn’t taking responsibility for myself.
That’s on me. It always will be.
I came through this one by giving myself a talking to and talking to my partner about it. He’s the most supportive person and for that I’m grateful.
MISTAKE 7)
Too many things I didn’t like. Enter - Insanity. I tried Insanity for a grand total of 3 days and decided that it wasn’t for me. Not today Shaun T, not today.
It was all too hectic. I don’t like being rushed, especially not in my workouts. I’d get to the end of the warm up (already hanging out) and dread the rest of it!
I tried Yoga - because I thought I should, not because I actually wanted to.
I tried running - because I thought I should. I never liked it much at school and still don’t now. Every now and then I get the urge to run - but honestly I have all the grace of a baby giraffe, it doesn’t suit me.
I decided to invest some time into what I did like - that ended up being weightlifting. I love it.
I implore everyone to find a way of moving they enjoy. There’s no right or wrong answers - isn’t that great!
MISTAKE 8)
Comparing myself. HERE WE GO. This is still very much a work-in-progress for me. I’ll try and keep it precise. I’m tall. I used to be very self conscious of this fact, growing up I was generally quite shy, desperately didn’t want to stand out in ANY WAY. (Ironic given I later went on to be an actor). However my legs thought otherwise and lo and behold. Here I am at 5’10 and a bit. When I had an ‘ideal body’ in mind, it didn’t look like mine. I’d look at pictures and wonder why things didn’t fit me the way they would on models etc.
Even when I started to go to the gym, I’d look around and compare myself. It was a really icky feeling. I couldn’t grasp that I would never look like someone else. I can’t tell you when I stopped comparing myself to other people. It was more a case of - as my confidence grew, I just gave less thought to it.
I wasn’t consumed by my desire to look like someone else.
I instead just wanted to look like a version of MYSELF instead. Game changer. Now - I’m confident in my body, it’s abilities, it’s appearance, my height etc. I couldn’t give a hoot about other people's bodies.
That, my friends, is a BEAUTIFUL FEELING.
MISTAKE 9)
Training while injured.
I did a whole other post on this - here. A lot of this came down to me not wanting to accept It was something serious, and not wanting people to judge my ability against it. It was a JOURNEY let me tell you. Don’t do it. Our bodies are so clever, they’ll tell us when something is wrong - so for goodness sake listen. MISTAKE 10)
Accepting it wasn’t going to be perfect all the time.
A good one to finish on.
I used to think that we need to be getting everything right ALL the time in order to reach my goals. It’s not true.
The thing is, it's not obtainable or sustainable to aim for perfect.
We can’t keep expecting this of ourselves - it’s exhausting.
We're human, life happens, things get in the way, we don't quite hit the mark on things. Everything can be going well for a while then the inevitable happens - stuff.
The problem is in a perfectionist mindset - these things don’t always feel as minor as they are. Especially when everything has been going ‘right’ for so long. It can feel huge, like ‘I’m a big fat failure’ huge.
It can encourage a cycle of negativity - you put the pressure on yourself to be perfect, it doesn't happen, so then the disappointment or failure you feel, is multiplied. Which is unnecessary. We don't need to be stuck in a cycle like that.
Instead of trying to reach this perfect balance and getting everything right all the time. I offer a different solution.
Embrace doing things WELL + CONSISTENTLY. NOT PERFECTLY.
The new mindset is this:
Give each day your all - no matter how much that is.
Work towards consistent habits - no matter how well you do.
Embrace the fact that things will never be perfect.
I’ll stick with 10 for now. We like a nice round number.
Of course there’s more, and no doubt that list will keep growing.
In my humble opinion, mistakes are crucial.
Absolutely necessary. In fact, mistakes are impressive. Mistakes are proof you’re trying, learning, accepting, growing. It most certainly doesn’t mean you’re failing.
Embrace your mistakes. One day they might make a great blog post.
Thank you for reading.
x
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